Edge of Tomorrow

Tom Cruise in another sci-fi movie. From the trends I observed, Americans don't fancy sci-fi themed movies that much. It was not that Oblivion was bad, it was a little slow however. That being said, I found Edge of Tomorrow to be dissimilarly fun and energetic. Of course fun here refers to seeing Tom Cruise die over and over again. 

Basically, Edge of Tomorrow is a 'Groundhog Day' themed movie, where the same day keeps repeating for Tom's character, Major William Cage, but in this case the mechanics are fully explained. Major Cage is an officer who has never seen a day in combat, instead he serves as a spokesperson for the military appearing on various television shows to bolster new recruit numbers. After a misunderstanding with a senior officer, Cage was demoted to private, and sent to the first wave of an offensive. The world Major Cage was living in had been attacked by a formidable alien race dubbed the Mimics which look like constantly squirming straggly spaghetti strands of black steel. Now, they controlled central Europe, and where they conquer, no survivors remain.  

The mechanics of the daily resurrection is as such -  Cage has to die everyday unless he wants the aliens' counterattack to succeed. It was explained that on the first day he died, he killed an alpha of the Mimics which have the ability to traverse time, if only in consciousness. Because the Mimic juices infused with Cage's body the moment he died, he shared their ability to turn back time as well every time he dies. 

He met the love interest, the lithe Sergeant Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) in one time loop. She was poster pin-up veteran known as 'Full Metal Bitch' who apparently won a battle against the Mimics in Verdun. Coincidentally, Vrataski had used the same ability to reset time after death, giving her the ability to prevail in that battle. But neither can reveal their abilities to the authorities, for no one would believe them. So Vrataski takes it upon herself to train Cage to be a real soldier, a guy who eventually accepts the burden of his star-crossed fate and steps up to be the saviour of mankind, naturally. To do this, he needed to infiltrate deep behind enemy lines to destroy a Mimic entity called an Omega which acts like a queen bee of sorts. 

I hate to see a good decent sci-fi movie with good ratings flop in the earnings. I would have given top marks if it hadn't starred Tom Cruise. This time Tom is not as smug as he usually is in his Mission Impossible movies. Overall I give a 9, minus 1 for Tom.

Hercules: Man vs Myth

Why do movies seem to come in pairs? Last year Olympus Has Fallen/White House Down. While both movies had their virtues, this year’s Legend of Hercules was pretty B-grade and not outstanding. However, this under marketed flick helmed by uber celebrity Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson deserves not to be preconceived with the similar derision as the earlier one. If anything, after ‘The Edge of Tomorrow’, ‘Hercules’ would get my vote for movie of the year so far.

If 2014’s Hercules was colonized i.e. the movie title has a colon in it, I think ‘Man vs Myth’ should be it. This version of Hercules parks the Greek gods aside and focuses on the man, or rather what the man could have been. But this is if I’m not mistaken, this is the only Hercules on screen that features the Twelve Labours like killing Hydra or the Nymean Lion etc. in keeping with the Herculean myth.

The premise of the movie postulates that Hercules was flesh and blood, no more infallible to injury than the rest of us. But he is very much stronger than the rest of us, powerful enough to rip the jaw off of any perilous beast. This Hercules grew up in Athens and his Labours were a form of penitence to King Eurystheus after killing his wife and kids in an inexplicable fit of madness. The mythical creatures he fights are merely aberrations made up by his nephew, Iolaus, an accomplished story teller. He travels around in a posse of which Iolaus is a part of, and travels around Greece serving as mercenaries for various parties. The myth of him being a demi-god and his celebrated Labours are the ultimate infomercial of its time for a gang of hired swords.

What an excellent accompaniment to Hercules his ragtag bunch makes. They consist of his no. 1 PR man, Iolaus, a maniac of a mute with a deeply troubled Tydeus, a token female warrior, Atalanta, mostly accurate seer Amphiaraus and long-time friend to Hercules, Autolycus.

I like summer movies that are action filled that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Hercules has a few side-splitting numbers as they debunk various Greek myths. It’s a near perfect blockbuster with a passable plot, awesome CG and star quality attractions (larger than a pebble, smaller than a boulder). While the earlier Hercules was all-muscle, this one rips the competition to shreds. Here’s to hoping that Hercules won’t be a flop, fingers crossed. This is a 9.5/10.

Silly as it may seem, this movie is brave enough to follow the actual depiction of Hercules in literature with the Lion Hat.

Mortal Instruments is a Tool

I was warned that is a twilight copycat. But for three dudes who after a failed attempt at EscapeRoom, were looking for more fulfilling entertainment after being locked in for 45 futile minutes. And we chose this, just because the rating on IMDB was higher than the Purge.

What a mistake that was. Over two hours I’ll never get back. The movie which was based on a teenage girl novel series of the same name, is about a girl, Clary who find out she’s a half angel through another half angel called Jace, who is narcissistic to the core. I won’t even humour you by telling you the ridiculous names the author has come up with to label her characters. Simon, a human, is interested in Clary, but she falls in love with Jace instead. Does this love triangle seem familiars? Team Jace vs Team Simon anyone? But fret not, this love triangle soon becomes a love quadrangle when some other half angel guy takes a fancy to Jace.

The script oozes buffoonery, as you not only get half angels but vampires, werewolves, warlocks, witches, demons and everything magical that has been written in the past 100 years. And all this in the first book/movie of the series. It’s a complete mess of characters, folklore, scripting, clichés and acting. There was a moment when it even parodied borrowed a plotline from Star Wars. I detected the Luke, Leia and Han Solo love triangle, as well as “Jace I am Your FATHER’ and not forgetting the incestuous romance.

I could only conjecture that the high IMDB rating was due to the thousands of Twilight loving teen girls suffering from withdrawal syndrome. Please save your sanity and money and stay away. I have to give this 2/10.

We're the Millers

A good comedy’s battle over the audience is half won with its premise alone. That’s how the Millers slayed the theatre. I mean what can go wrong with a 30-something-yo drug dealer named David smuggling drugs from Mexico accompanied by a rented family consisting of a stripper, a runaway punk girl and a naïve dork using a rented RV as a Trojan horse? Everything. That’s why this comedy has this writer in stitches from beginning to end.

This comedy in this movie is raunchy but not exclusively raunchy. We see how this family cleans up, polish their lines, look and sound the part of an honest, no-cussing American Bible Belt family to get through customs with no questions asked. Unfortunately, they run into a Mexican drug lord and a DEA officer (Drug Enforcement Agency) and his vacationing family; the border patrol guards was the easy part.

The make-believe mother of this family is actually a stripper who live named Rose played by Jennifer Aniston. For all Jennifer fans, look forward to a striptease treat. She doesn’t look a day over 35 with those curves. (She is 44.) But in all seriousness, Jennifer played the funny bone to the right tune.

Everyone is talking about William Poulter who plays the nerdy kid, Kenny. He was that small kid in The Chronicles of Narnia 3. This upcoming star can pull off the self- confessing nerd persona as easily as singing TLC’s Waterfalls. His fake sister could casually infer him a loser, and without batting an eyelid accepts it:

“Even this loser wants fireworks”, referring to Kenny.
“Yeah”, Kenny whole heartedly supports.

Another joke goes like this:

Stripper Mom: You’re getting five hundred thousand dollars for this, and only paying me 30 thousand?
Fake Sis: I’m only getting a thousand.
Kenny: You’re getting paid?!

Look out for ‘the’ joke of the movie involving Pictionary, Kenny’s poor drawing and extremely age inappropriate guesses. What rhymes with ‘Black Hawk Down’?

I dare say this is the wittiest comedy I’ve seen from America in the last 5 years. Although it’s meant for an older crowd, deep down, it’s a family comedy; it doesn’t matter if the family’s biological or rented. 9/10

Elysium

In 2154, Elysium is a space station orbiting Earth inhabited by the Earth’s richest, while the poor inherit a dirty, over populated, ravaged surface. Los Angeles, even downtown has been relegated to a massive favela.

To deal with a weary underprivileged population, the powers that be have robotized most of the public services work staff. Every people-facing civil servant is an android whether it’s the Department of Paroles’ counter-person or the patrolling police officer. Smart enough to detect the slightest ounce of sarcasm, they will prosecute any chance they get.

People, impoverished people are still exploited to work in factories. And when they get home, only their broken down dilapidated shacks await them. There are those who are wealthier than others, naturally, but they live in fear of losing their wealth or even their lives. So they invest heavily in security to protect themselves against murderers, robbers, smugglers and outlaws in general who seem to comprise about half the population on Earth.

And as a projection of what’s to come, Los Angeles’s population has turned predominantly Hispanic. Spanish has taken the English language’s place on the tongues of most Angelenos (citizens of the city). Realization of every red-neck’s nightmare.

Matt Damon’s character Max is just a white dude, a minority now, in the almost lawless city of Los Angeles. Turning his back away from a life of crime, Max now seeks an honest living working as a technician in a factory. But in true commentary on extreme capitalism’s demerits, where profit trumps employee well-being, Max’s fate would take the wrong fork in the road.

One day, in the factory, the production line came to a halt due to a malfunction in a radioactive chamber. Max was challenged by his supervisor to enter into that chamber to unjam the chamber door from the inside. As it usually happens, the jammed door came unstuck, Max gets trapped, and the radioactive process thing continues, baking Max alive.

After being dragged out by a medical android, he was only given 5 days to live after being exposed to a lethal amount of radiation. Max, who was trying to play it straight, had been betrayed by the system, the Man, unregulated capitalism. So no more Mr. Nice Guy.

While healthcare on Earth is limited to crammed hospital wards and 21st century technology (and human doctors), in Elysium all it takes to cure cancer or perform facial reconstruction is to lie on a bed for a few minutes, and let the wonder machine diagnose and heal to perfection. Such a powerful machine is installed in every Elysium home, but none to be found on Earth.

Elysium, why is it so special? Far removed from the realities of The International Space Station currently in orbit, Elysium is paradise orbiting Earth. Elysium is a large doughnut-shaped spinning wheel modelled after the Stanford Torus. By spinning around an axle connected by 4 architectural spokes, artificial gravity could be produced allowing residents to live with near to Earth’s gravity.

If you were to cut a cross section of the wheel, you would find several stories. However, the top story is the most interesting. It resembles a curved inverted surface of the world, the world of a luxurious gated community replete with manicured lawns and wading pools. Most fascinatingly Elysium torus has a contained atmosphere which opens into space. I was looking for some kind of membrane or ‘force field’ but it doesn’t seem to be featured in the show. Because without it, there’s no possible way atmospheric pressure can be contained in Elysium.

Instead of having docking bays, spaceships can supposedly just glide right into the fake atmosphere. While Elysium seems to have been around for some time, an advanced space station such as this didn’t seem to have any predecessors i.e. Elysium 2.0, 3.0 etc.

The rich and famous of Elysium include the elected President of a United Earth, the fiendish Secretary of Defense, Mdm Delacourt played by Jodie Foster with a bad French accent (but excellent French though) and many filthy rich oligarchs whose businesses are primarily headquartered on Earth. And to ferry them back and forth, all it takes is a 20-minute ride on a one-seater shuttle craft. Earthlings are absolutely banned from entering Elysium.

After Max’s exposure to the radiation, his only hope to outlive his 5 day impending death sentence is to smuggle himself on an illicit flight to Elysium, break into a home and use that cure-all wonder machine. But before that, he has to collude with his former gang boss and have a mech suit surgically attached to his body. Gruesome stuff.

The plot thickens when he is reconciled with his old female childhood friend who is now a nurse and has a sick daughter which can only be cured on Elysium, duh. Without revealing too much, I should only say that it smells of a typical popcorn summer movie plot riddled with Swiss cheese sized holes.

Mostly unsatisfying and a major disappointment when compared to director Blomkamp’s maiden outfit in District 9. Elysium’s plot tends to over-generalize and stereotype the different characters but never giving them enough depth even Max, the protagonist. The sci-fi is also unbelievable. A do-it-all wonder machine that heals people? Does it mean that Elysium citizens are immortal? That’s a more intriguing story right there.

In this post Dark Knight Era of very artfully crafted villains, Elysium would surely have the worst antagonist ever written. Kruger was supposed to be Delacourt’s black ops agent on Earth. When he first appeared, he seemed no more imposing than an extra on the set. Slowly but surely, Kruger’s character got bigger until he became the primary villain, seizing the role from Delacourt, his former employer. It’s not like he has a great back story or anything, he just got angrier. This isn’t the way to write in a villain.

Elysium barely makes the grade, and is saved by its passable action scenes, but sci-fi wise, an outright reject. 5/10.

R.I.P.D may R.I.P.

Ryan Reynolds can’t catch a break. All his movies recently bombed somehow. RIPD is no different except that this has been touted as an odd version of Men in Black without the black man which could only mean it can only be half as good.

Ryan Reynolds plays a dirty (or just slightly smudged) cop who died at the hands of his partner. Somehow upon his death, he got recruited into an afterlife police force called Rest in Peace Department, a poor play on the abbreviation: Something. Something. PD. I don’t get it.

Anyway in that weird substitute for heaven, he meets up with an old Western sheriff, Roycephus Pulsipher played by Jeff Bridges. Together they police the living world, ridding the streets of bad spirits, but the catch is they have to be disguised so as to not mix their new job with their past lives. Jeff Bridges is disguised as a hot blonde bombshell while Ryan is perceived as an old Chinese man by the living populace.

You would think that the premise of the movie would fuel it all the way to the finish line but it doesn’t. The evil souls actually look like the aliens in MIB. Kevin Bacon’s villainous acting was plain bad. Ryan Reynolds was forgettable. The plot was altogether uninspiring with overuse of CG.
But the things that sticks out are the jokes. The show’s premise allows for the most original and hilarious comedy. One was about Jeff Bridges defending his character’s full name.

Jeff: Call me Roycephus.

Ryan: Why don’t I call you something short like Roy.

Jeff: Or Cephus.

Other than the jokes, there really isn’t much going for this movie. Bad reviews and poor marketing has scared away potential audiences. Although it feels awkward laughing alone in a nearly empty cinema, I would grace this with a 5/10.

Warm Bodies

I like zombies. I’ve been catching all the latest zombie movies, 28 days later, zombieland, “… of the Dead” original series from George A. Romero, Walking Dead TV series and even the aberrant Resident Evil. You might then find it surprising that I am quite fond of the Warm Bodies, and its peculiar genre: Teen Zombie Romantic Comedy.

Meet R. R used to be living. Now he lives out his afterlife at an airport and eats humans for sustenance. But R is not very dead. His mind is burdened with contemplations of life death and conflictions about eating people. He actually narrates the entire movie, to effective comedic result. But he has no memory of his old life. Interestingly, zombies in this movie are highly functional, probably reliving their previous jobs to the point where even zombie infested zones have limited electricity supply.

R is truly unique but not alone. He has a best friend where he has almost-conversations with. The oddest thing is R lives alone in a marooned airplane right on the runway. He needs it, of course, to keep all the junk he has been treasuring like watches, sunglasses, and a vinyl collection which he plays (with limited electricity) to lighten up the mood a little. For a person who’s dead, R is livin’ the life.

This light hearted mellow comedy doesn’t follow the regular zombie lore. For instance zombies eat brains so that they can relive the memories of those they eat. This apparently compensates for the lack of the zombies’ ability to dream. And all zombies degrade into a malicious skeletal form – sans eyes and skin – eventually, they are called boneys. But other zombie conventions hold true – they won’t die unless they have their brain damaged otherwise they’re practically superhuman. The notion of zombie apocalypses doesn’t make much sense anyway, so the authors of Warm Bodies have my blessing.

Julie, our protagonist’s romantic love interest, hails from the city, a walled territory that keeps the dead out. She was on a foraging mission out in the dead zone for medical supplies. That day she met R. R was chomping down on her Julie’s boyfriend’s brains when his once dead heart throbbed a beat at the sight of her. Th- thump. He fell in love. He starts to live.

Given the film’s premise, I dare say this is the most interesting zombie movies I’ve seen ever. We have only ever seen the beginning of the apocalypse, and never the reverse. But Warm Bodies is at the end of the day, mainly a love story. And no, it is not like Twilight. If anything, this movies romance is inspired by Romeo and Juliet. (R and Julie, get it?) Furthermore, Nicholas Hoult’s spot-on portrayal of R as the perfect zombie boyfriend lends the film legitimacy as the most original and awesome zombie cum rom-com ever. 10/10.

Jack and Oz A Tale of Two Fairy Tales

Early in March I had the pleasure of watching back-to-back weekend screenings of what I would classify as modern day fairy tale movies. ‘Jack the Giant Slayer’ came first, then ‘Oz the Great and Powerful.

Jack is a twist on the often read bedtime story Jack and the Beanstalk where the single giant is replaced with a nation of enormous scraggly humanoids known as giants. They have managed to extend the fable of a poor farmer boy into an epic glitzy medieval war between a kingdom on the ground and the one in the clouds, oh yes a princess is involved. Jack is not without its flaws but on the whole it is wholesome, logical and at times fun.

Oz on the other hand is a prequel to the classic 1939 family-oriented fantasy adventure musical ‘The Wizard of Oz’ (and the book it was based on) which has spurned many sequels and reinterpretations. In this prequel we meet Oscar the magician who journeyed to Oz in a hot air balloon during a tornado super storm. Oscar would become the bogus wizard which Dorothy travelled to meet. We also meet up with the Glinda the good witch of the north, whose goodness is all too saccharine (read artificially sweet) for me. We also witness the initiation of the green skinned Wicked Witch of the West with an alternate storyline compared with the musical ‘Wicked’.

What strikes me as odd is that while both movies have a budget of around USD200mil, Jack is languishing in the box-office, a contender for flop of the year while Oz is close enough to break even. Oz has nowhere near the heartiness like Jack has. Oz, to me came across as incredibly childish and had me wincing the moment Oscar stepped into Oz. Larger than life flowers would greet Oscar like in Alice’s Wonderland. The Munchkin tribe have all the maturity of toddler targeted Saturday morning cartoon. And the biggest kicker: James Franco plays no one other than himself. 

No one dies in Oz, so that presumably pursues an even younger target audience. Jack on the other hand has scary giants and a lot of death takes place. However the gory details are left out for good measure.

Overall, out of 10, I would give Jack a 7.5 and Oz a 3. Jack the Giant Slayer is a far better production. So if you have watched Oz and are over the age of 10 and have not watched Jack yet, you might prefer Jack over Oz.

Lincoln

Yawnnnn. For a movie that nearly won best picture this one is clearly not deserving. I have no idea why everyone finds it so good. When a historical movie titled Lincoln comes along, I’d expect a brief lifetime introduction, highlights, civil war. Instead, what Steven Spielberg’s movie focuses on is his last few months in office. It has two focusses, one is the politics and lobbying behind the 13th amendment to the US Constitution which abolishes slavery amid the Civil War with the South, and the second is his family life.

We see Lincoln raising his young son, consoling a sorrowful wife, played by a distraught Sally field, who finds it hard to cope with the death of another son a few years ago, and Robert, the eldest son who wants to join the military at the behest of his parents.

Lincoln believed in his heart of hearts that no man should be made a slave to another, which is why he pushed so hard for the bill to pass. According to the movie, the bill is “the most liberating constitutional amendment in history had been passed by corruption, aided and abetted by the purest man in America”.

Lincoln reeks of heavy and underhanded politicking and bribing, something you might expect in today’s crafty world. There are no exciting scenes other than this politicking. No battles. Even the moment of his assassination has been omitted. This is not what I had planned to see. Mmm, I wonder if Lincoln is better in his other role, as the slayer of vampires. 2/10.

Cloud Atlas

Every cloud has a silver lining even atlassian ones, I thought when I was right in the middle of it. Surely the 6 disparate stories, separated by time, must come together in momentous finale, all the pieces fit together for an ‘Ahhhhh’ instance. Arrghh that moment never came.

If you don’t know, this movie was based on a book that has six stories set in six different eras ranging from 1850 to the 24th century. The six stories are supposedly interwoven somehow. I urge you to google the movie’s synopsis if you are interested.

Watching the movie, I was unconscionably confused as the movie flips through all six time zones building each story in tandem. That is a pretty migraine inducing exercise. I did some research, and found that the book instead has a very unusual approach to telling these six stories. The stories are nested, all except the sixth story is told in two parts. The first story is the earliest while the sixth is in some fictitious future. The stories that have two parts break at some critical point in their lives. It follows the pattern 12345654321, the story ends where it began.

In the book, the connection between six stories is that the protagonists in each story (second to sixth) were reading or watching some legacy that was created by the earlier protagonist e.g. a book, journal, music, video broadcast and motion picture. Also all protagonist bear a comet shaped birthmark. Critics mostly agree that the author insinuated that all six protagonists are reincarnations of the same soul. However this writer believes that the six stories are poorly stitched together, they lack meaningful connection and most stories by themselves aren’t very good. Hence I was duly disappointed by the lack of a grand finish.

The Wachowski’s movie on the other hand also borrows the reincarnation theme. However, their reincarnation does not follow the comet birth marked protagonists in each story. Instead the siblings chose a few actors to replay certain characters in each time zone. So the soul of Tom Hanks for instance has a story arc of its own, reincarnated from story one to six. He played the protagonist once, but in the other stories he played supporting characters as well as short cameos. Some characters were evil, some good.

This all may sound interesting but meticulously following seven characters through six stories is an exercise in futility. I’ve found a gaffe too, one character cannot be reincarnated because he has to exist twice within the same time. I’m referring to Hugh Grant’s characters in the 1970’s and the present.

The fifth story is set in Korea, with all Korean characters. Since they decided to recast the same actors in all 6 stories, they resorted to using facial prosthetics which are at times laughable, just to make Caucasians look Asian. Exhibit A, Hugo Weaving aka Mr. Smith in yellow face.




I waited till the end. It was neither meaningful nor rewarding. The connections between the six stories are flimsy. The Korean makeup was annoying. I rate this only as a 3/10, don’t waste your time, and take a rain check.

Les Misérables

A Miserable movie? Far from it, it’s based on the musical by Cameron Mackintosh, the same acclaimed musical that’s been running worldwide since 1980. That musical is in turn based on the French novel of the same name by Victor Hugo.

It is the story of Jean Valjean, a relatively ‘innocent’ prisoner turn thief turn mayor turn fugitive, weirdly in that order. He faces his lifelong archrival police Inspector Javert who wishes to bring him to justice, in his eyes. He fathered a child, the daughter of a whore which he had no relations with. All this with the backdrop of the politically tumultuous France in the first half of the 19^th century. Jean Valjeans’s story culminates with the Paris Uprising of 1832, a Republican rebellion which comprised primarily of young students.

Coming from a family of musical aficionados, I am by default a LesMis fan. I have caught the stage production once in New York while the soundtracks are staple in my playlists. I join the legion of bright eyed LesMis devotees waiting for this very movie. And so my review will be from the perspective of a fan. First and foremost, I must state that this movie doesn’t disappoint.

Hugh Jackman’s Jean Valjean surpasses all expectations and delivers a soulful, grimy and tense portrayal of a broken man, despite Hugh’s relative youngness. On the other end of the scale, Russell Crowe’s Javert leaves me wanting. He has the look, he has the charisma of the formidable inspector, but he doesn’t have the voice to suit. Vocal duels with Valjean always results with Valjean winning.

While the rest of the characters did what was expected of them, one small part stood out, thanks to Anne Hathaway. She played Fantine, Jean Valjean’s adopted girl’s mother. Fantine is the character who delivers the well-known ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ hit song. Ordinarily in the play, this song comes before ‘Lovely Ladies’ which was the time she entered into the circle of prostitution. The producers must have switched the sequence, ‘I dream a dream’ comes after that and now takes on an added innuendos. Anne pounced on that opportunity, so watch out for a version unlike any other that brought this writer to tears, so early on too.

For those who may not know, this musical is sung through. This means that about 99% of all dialogue is sung. The beauty of Les Miserables is that they have many songs that stick in your head. Each melody elicits a certain emotion or context and are continually resung by different characters at different scenes throughout the musical.

Les Miserables is arguably the best musical of all time, in my opinion. This more-than-good-enough movie musical satiates my need to relive those memories of the stage production, which due to my non-strategic geographic location, prevents me from watching again. And for all the musical haters, an outing to Les Miserables is an excellent boot-camp, so to speak. I don’t give this easily, but this deserves a 10/10.

Resident Evil: Retribution

Guilty. I admit not remembering the first three movies of this franchise. It’s too long ago and I’m too lazy to rewatch. I only really remember the Afterlife. While that movie seemed like a stylistic movie-length video game cutscene, Resident Evil 5 is kind of the opposite.

Retribution made me feel like I was actually playing the game itself, complete with badly acted cutscenes. Yes, the acting was cheesy and robotic, but if the aim was to recreate the gameplay feel, they succeeded exceptionally well.

Nevertheless, if you like the Resident Evil movies, you can’t miss this one. Apparently Retribution is setup as the penultimate movie to the series. Can’t wait for the next one. Milla is still hot though.

6/10

What Happens in Vegas Review

Joy (Cameron Diaz) is a highly restless Wall Street stock trader who works a staggering 90 hours per week. Her career driven life pressed her fiancé to leave her, unintentionally but publicly in front of all her friends. In stark contrast, Jack (Ashton Kutcher) is a bona fide slacker who assembles furniture at his father’s factory. One occupational blunder too many, Jack Sr. played by Treat Williams decides to terminate his son’s employment. Dejected, Joy and Jack, strangers at this point both head to Vegas to forget their troubles, like so many of us would.

They stumble upon each other in Vegas. And true to most Vegas lore, they got married in an Elvis chapel after one intoxicated party-hopping night. Reality came to them only the next morning and they both agreed that filing for annulment is the next best step. A few slot machines later, Jackpot, the newly weds just won 3 million dollars, with each claiming the victory for him or herself. Back home in New York City, the battle shifts to the courtroom. The judge gives his ultimatum: stay together for 6 months, that means going to Queen Latifah’s weekly couples’ therapy sessions, or lose the 3 million dollars.

You’d think that this is another run of the mill Hollywood romance, and you’d be quite right. But unlike rom-coms (romantic comedies) of recent years I think this is really well executed. Ashton is strong as himself. Think whacky irritating ‘Punk’d’ host in a relationship. Couple that with Cameron’s super assertive persona, and you have a pair so adamant about hurting each other. The peeing in the kitchen sink and uncomfortable toilet position like falling into the toilet bowls are one of the cruder antics mean Jack plays on Joy. Okay Ashton Kutcher haters might want to skip this one.

The movie’s humor is mostly concentrated in the middle of the movie where Jack and Joy engage in volleys of tit-for-tat pranks. As expected their hateful relationship slowly turns mellow. But I for one think that their dysfunctional relationship works, on the screen for the funnies of course.

Towards the end of the movie, drawing parallels to ‘The Breakup’, Joy was given a real life choice to make. That to me brings out a sense of realism of the consequences of each choice you make. And Joy’s choice might put some off.

It’s a story of how hate turns to love gruelingly through outlandish circumstances, and is certainly a crowd pleaser. I’m cashing in on Vegas.

Spider-Man Reboot

I’m going to keep this brief, and separate this into things I like and things I dislike about the new Spider-Man reboot. Keep in mind; I’m not an avid comic book fan.


Like 1: Andrew Garfield’s acting. 

He knows it as much as the next person. This is the role of his lifetime. And with that in mind he acted his socks off. I noticed him trying to create a unique Peter Parker, not unlike what Johnny Depp did with Captain Jack Sparrow. Every second Andrew is on the screen, he steals it (except when Emma Stone is there). Comparing with the under emoted, dopey Tobey Maguire’s Spider-man, Andrew’s Spider-Man is so much more charismatic and dramatic. You think he had never missed a single acting class. In a nutshell, Andrew blew his predecessor away easily, acting wise.


Like 2: Emma Stone

Forget Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts, Kirsten Dunst’s Mary Jane; Emma Stone’s Gwen Stacy is the superhero’s girlfriend I want. For non-Spider-Man comic readers, the blond bombshell Gwen Stacy is Peter Parker’s first love, before they snuffed out her character midway. The striking thing about Emma Stone is not her beauty; it’s her kick ass personality (as seen as the survivor in Zombieland) and that sensual maturity (as seen in Easy A). But here in Spider-man, she is accessible.


Like 3: The Grittier but not necessarily Darker Style

This new incarnation is Spider-Man’s supposed equivalent to Batman’s ‘The Dark Knight’, if the teasers and trailers were anything to go by. Unfortunately, on the darkness meter, it measures somewhere between Thor and Ghost Rider, basically a slight shade darker than the first Spider-Man. Well, they tried, they failed, but this is no Dark Knight. The grittiness here is mostly derived from Andrew doing most of his own stunts, more green screens and less CG.


Like 4: The Romance

Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man has the iconic upside down kiss; this one has such no iconic four play tactics. But on the other hand, the kissing scenes are steamier than your average sauna. And now the word on the street is that Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are now dating. One wonders how much actual romance makes it to screen.

Like 5: More Green Screen, Less CG

While Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man web slinging was 100% CG, this new one tries more stunts and green screens, which translates to more realistic whizzing action scenes.

Dislike 1: Casting of Andrew Garfield 
Andrew is six feet tall. Andrew is 28 years old. Andrew is also skinny as a rake. Apparently his wiry body type isn’t suitable for beefing up, trainer and actor both gave up and sourced inspiration from Bruce Lee. Despite his talented portrayal of the nerdy web slinger, he’s just not buff enough for a superhero role of today, visually.


Dislike 2: Spidey Costume
The reds are wrong. The blues are wrong. I don’t mind it being ugly if because they designed a suit that an above average high school kid can put together. Not only is it ugly, it looks like it came from the labs of NASA. That is so NOT spandex. Why does it have to be so scaly?


Dislike 3: Cheesy Scene

I got a taste of cheese, and it ain’t from my popcorn. Granted, this Spider-Man reboot only features one cheese worthy scene while its predecessors were curdling in it. It’s the one where all the crane operators line up the crane booms to allow Spider-Man quick passage to Oscorp tower, which leads me to the next point:


Dislike 4: Formulaic Plot

Sony Studios was clearly in charge. They brought together no name directors, no name actors and no one that could stand up against them. The plot itself was clearly written by the execs. While Peter Parker’s and Gwen Stacy’s characters were a breath of fresh air, the villain, ‘The Lizard’s’ character development was to me, run of the mill.


Dislike 5: Spider-Man wise cracks

In the heat of action, Spider-man, once nerdy teenager, is now a wise cracking masked vigilante. Problem is it sounds weird on the big screen.


Dislike 6: Spider-Man Fiction Deviations

I’m not sure if these are plot goofs or plot holes, but some of them interfere with what makes Spider-Man so special.

1) Bitten by a Spider

In Sam Raimi’s Spider-man, there were a handful of genetically modified spiders. One spider got away and bit Peter. In this one, Oscorp was already mass producing genetically modified spiders. There seems to be thousands of them, easily accessible and yet none of them have bitten any of Oscorp staff. But only when Peter stumbles upon them, they bite and he becomes Spider-Man? Logic be gone.

2) Webbings

Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man made Peter Parker a biological mutant. He developed webbing glands on his wrists. The original comics depicted Peter as a genius developing his own sticky substance in his garage laboratory. This movie is even weirder. The mass produced genetically modified spiders were bred by Oscorp to produce industrial strength ‘Bio-Cable’ packaged in tiny cartridges. This new Peter Parker steals a boxful of these cartridges and merely devises a way to squirt out the liquid bio-cable which presumably forms into webbing upon ejection. Let’s be clear, this spider man uses commercially sold products for webbings.

3) Peter Parker’s Camera

Peter has an old film camera. I find this confusing as the producers said they wanted to give this version a modern take. Why give Peter Parker a cell phone but not a DSLR? Heck, using his phone’s camera would be more convenient.

If you like Spider-Man and its myth, it is worth a ticket. Its fresh depiction of the two romantic leads is a welcome change but it’s still mired in superhero movie contrivances. 8/10.

Brave – More Disney than Pixar

With the exception of the Cars franchise, I look forward to Pixar movies. Brave however seemed like a typical Disney princess movie. But instead of ending like one, Brave is widely campaigned as being different. I however feel that it should have had a Disney ending, since there are so many Disney elements in it already.

Brave is set in Scotland, in an unknown era. It tells of a kingdom’s princess choosing a suitor for her betrothal. And as you’ve guessed, the princess rebels against her insisting mother and refuses to marry prematurely. My main contention is that a Pixar movie of the past would have dealt with the issues in this story with more depth, gravity and seriousness. In Brave, a bear bites off the King’s leg, and all we hear are jokes and light hearted moments about it. The evil wicked witch was more comic relief than a character.


True, as a guy, the premise of girl power wasn’t intended for me, but to be totally disengaged? Sure the jokes were funny, but clearly Brave lacks the character development Pixar is so adept at. In fact there were categorically only two adequately developed characters, Princess Merida and her Queen mother, and no one else.


I can’t rate this on behalf of women and adolescent girls, but this is a no-go for male cartoon fans. 3/10. I wish Disney would stop meddling in Pixar’s strong suits.

Snow White & the Huntsman

The trailer looked riveting; a Snow White set in a credible medieval fantasy Europe instead of a land far far away. The wicked stepmother Queen looked more gorgeous and less evil than the cartoon. And the huntsman who was tasked to bring the liver and lungs of Snow White became a co-star the whole movie long.

So hot on the heels of another 2012 Snow White adaptation (Mirror, Mirror); how does this one fare? I have mixed feelings about this one. There are really only two main characters here, Snow White and the sorceress stepmother Queen Ravenna. Looking into a magic mirror, asking who’s the fairest makes sense. Charlize Theron is a timeless beauty. Her portrayal of evil is alluringly dark and visually insidious. You can’t get enough of her.

However, on the other side of the good-bad divide, Snow White, played by the infamous Kristen Stewart of Twilight is a more bungled up character. Sadly to report, Kristen has yet again reprised her role as Bella. In the beginning, I could forgive her as she played the captive princess, locked up high in the prison tower. But towards the end (no spoilers here as the trailers already foretold the ending), Bella would lead an army against the evil Queen Ravenna.

The most cringe-worthy moment comes when Bella, I mean Snow White, tries to rally the troops to wage war on Ravenna. I could compare such a moment when the kids in the Narnia movies tried to rally animals to fight against the monsters. The Narnian kids were a lot more convincing than Bella, I mean Snow White. Instead of a leader imbued with kingly charisma, Kristen Stewart acted like a whiny teenager throwing a hissy fit because her little brother took the remote.

While the dark forces were deviously delicious, the good forces were curiously contrived. There was a scene where Snow White was ‘blessed’ by a goat or something in some fairy land. And what is the outcome of that blessing? Nothing. Why put it in there?

Also notable is the lack of scripted humour. The real winners here however are Charlize Theron’s interpretation of wicked Queen AND her costumes. This is this movie’s lasting legacy. I’d give this one a 5.

The Avengers: Movie Review

The Avengers is the culmination of all the recent Marvel Studio movies starting with the hit Ironman, to Hulk, Thor and Captain America. Everyone to everyone expects this movie to be great, knock-your-socks-off entertainment, and in almost every way, it delivers.

With the screenplay completely written by Josh Whedon, most famously known as the creator of Buffy the Vampire slayer, the Avengers boasts a great combination of well-timed good suited humour and the larger than life CGI spectacle to balance this blockbuster flick. I never thought I’d be wowed by anymore CGI fabrications of late but after this movie I was wrong. The flying aircraft carrier and the alien mothership which slithers through air, cutting through beams and bricks of skyscrapers is simply amazing.


Joss Whedon has only directed 2 movies: Cabin in the Woods and Firefly series finalizer, Serenity. But he had written an X-men comic book series: Astonishing X-Men. So when given a storyline almost predetermined by the Marvel Studios, Joss Whedon, a small fan base cult director, (much like Sam Raimi, Bryan Singer, Christopher Nolan) basically rewrote it all.


One thing his humour does is that it brings a sense of not taking the superhero theme too seriously. (This humour is called Whedonism, something Buffy fans would slurp up.) The Avengers team is undeniably weird and fictionally lopsided; a green monster, robotic suited billionaire, a demi-god of Norse mythology, and a couple of highly skilled human superheroes?

Come on, only humour can make it all seem normal. And I can see it now; this phrase will last a lifetime: Captain America: Big man in a suit of armor, take that away, and what are you? Tony Stark: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. And watch out for the new catchphrase: “Puny God”

On that same subject, we always wonder how each of them would stack up against each other. Hulk vs demigod? Ironman vs demigod? Cap A vs ironman? Ironman vs flying aircraft carrier? I don’t wish to divulge any spoilers, but we get the answers. I was like: Really?

From the posters, I thought that adding the archer guy (Hawkeye) and sexy Russian spy lady (Black Widow) to the already crowded superhero line-up is a huge mistake. But I was wrong. The Black Widow added that much needed feminine touch, and Hawkeye was made relevant by plot circumstances early on. But yet these two humans are aware of their place among the more powerful superheroes. Don’t play with the big boys or else…


In fact every main character was given his/her chance to shine and be meaningful. This is a masterful stroke of the playwright (Joss Whedon). Nevertheless, I do see that Ironman, the crowd favourite, is given the best lines and the most bravado scenes. Although Captain America is supposed to be the de facto group leader, Ironman seems to get more limelight. Makes sense; Ironman 1 & 2 made more money than Hulk, Thor and Captain America put together.


This IS (along with Battleship) the movie of this summer. Not to be missed. It’s not Ironman 3 or Thor 2, or Captain America 2. This is Avengers 1. My score is 9/10.

This article is a good read: wired.com

Battleship: Movie Review

I’m going to start out by saying: This is the best loudest action extravaganza popcorn flick in the past 5 years. It’s the kind where it gets you on your feet (figuratively speaking), cheering on the heroes, air punching the bad guys (again figuratively), unrealistic or silly as the plot may be. It gives that impression of worldwide impending doom like Armageddon, Independence Day and Transformers 1 (forget 2 or 3). Actually, it’s better than Transformers 1 if you compare the two Hasbro branded movies.


Now the differences; comedy wise, Battleship’s comic relief scenes are a whole lot more extreme, and admittedly a little out of place. The opening scene starts like this.

Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch), an unemployed and deadbeat twenty something year old guy celebrates his birthday in a bar with his brother, Stone Hopper (Alexander Skarsgård). Stone insists that his brother turns his life around and maybe join him in the Navy, when a hot Samantha (Brooklyn Decker) walks in the bar and takes Alex’s breath away. An argument arises with the bartender who refuses to serve chicken burrito to a famished Samantha. Alex offers to solve her problem in 5 minutes or less. He races to the nearby convenience store, only to find that the shopkeeper had just closed shop. But it’s just right there, the chicken burrito.

The next few seconds features in-store CCTV footage. He peels through the ceiling and insulation making a hole which he falls out from. Then he grabs the burrito, heats it in the microwave and plans an escape through the same way he came in. He slips off a ladder but he eventually exits the store to the sound of police sirens. Alex runs towards Sam, but multiple police tasers brings him down. But not for long, Alex digs deep for strength, he gets up and tosses the chicken burrito to Sam, delivers his promise, just before a final taser shot blacks him out amid bewildered looks.


Fast forward to the future, Alex Hopper joins the navy and reaches lieutenant rank and takes part in a Pan Pacific military exercise around Hawaiian waters. The Japanese fleet took part, and yes, even the Royal Malaysian Navy. Out of nowhere, aliens attack. Damn, I hate it when that happens. They surround Hawaii in a force field, splitting the US fleet in two, Stone being in one of the few ships inside the force field. The battle with the aliens ensues.


Aliens are treated, in this movie, purely as the ultimate mysterious enemy. They are given no characterisation whatsoever, nor do we really know what they’re up to, but all we know is that they are technologically advanced in comparison. Battleship’s aliens look like simians with braided beards and chameleon limbs, all donning mechanized armour. Oh man, at least it’s more memorable than that disappointing alien from Super 8.


There are a couple of things that were cleverly done. Director Peter Berg included real US Navy veterans who are currently museum employees into the movie. They were aptly given a major role in the plot as well, a move deliberately aimed at drumming up American pride.

In another stroke of genius, Peter Berg also coaxed a real life Iraq War veteran, a double above-the-knee amputee to play himself in the movie. I recognised him from an issue of National Geographic featuring bionics and so did Peter. Gregory Gadson, the amputee, is part of an advanced bionics program and is fitted with a pair of powered prosthetic legs that enable him to walk with just a cane. Surprisingly Gregory can act and they gave him a role as big as Rihanna’s, whose cinematic appearance is a career first. For me, there’s no question about who the bigger star of the two is.


Battleship was meant to be campy and cheesy from the start without the need for a story with considerable depth. So movie theme is a bigger factor. I think it’s long overdue that a militaristic fantasy movie takes the fore, because blockbusters in recent years have been predominantly centred on comic book superheroes. Transformers did feature the military, but there’s always that pesky kid that keeps meddling about.

There is a minus point however; mysterious aliens from outer space that aren’t serious are in danger of becoming a passing fad as movie goers grow jaded with similar themes. Hollywood needs to keep aliens out of the movie sets, at least for a little while.


That being said, I loved it. 9/10.

Mirror Mirror: Movie Review

One of two Snow White movies in 2012, this one aims for a family oriented fare. And that usually means kid centric. But frankly, I’m a little confused as to what it really wants to be. Overall, I’d say it’s a comedy, with kiddie trimmings, but is a revolutionary fantasy take on the Snow White fable. There is certainly a large amount of kiddie humour which I don’t think gels with the other aspects of the movie.

A parody? Maybe, but they distorted the storyline to the point that it is mildly engaging. And when the credits were rolling, we were even treated to a Bollywood dance and song number courtesy of the director. Heck I give up.

Snow White started out as a fragile flower, but slowly turns into a feisty fox. That’s expected, no movie in this day and age can portray leading women in a constant submissive role. The biggest changes seen are with the seven dwarves and prince charming. The dwarves are now bandits with names like Grimm, Butcher, Wolf, Napoleon, Half Pint, Grub, Chuckles with personalities to match. It’s different yet the same with Disney’s Snow White.

Suave but comical Prince Alcott aka Prince Charming in Snow White is given a much bigger role throughout the movie. The evil stepmother Queen is none other than Julia Roberts, whose evil is a cross between the devil in Devil wears Prada and the mother in Monster-in-Law. It is fresh departure from the iconic evil villainess role. Julia Roberts also plays the Queen’s reflection in the mystical mirror; it is an entity of its own. This character however seems so underacted and bland.

At the end of the day, you ask yourself, is it worth watching? The chaotic storyline in particular is slightly above average, it doesn’t incite feelings of wonderment or exuberance as a movie of this genre could have. Maybe go if you have kids that need entertaining. 4/10.

See-Food gets Swept out to Sea

I try to support local Malaysian cinema lately, but from what I’ve seen, they’ve got a long way to go. For instance, I thought the much talked about animation (Malaysian press only), See-Food deserved a look. It looked stunning in the trailers and the voice talents seem to have American accents. And it’s got some film festival nod somewhere or other.


The animation is about two sharks of different species. One is big and scary and the other shark adorable and harmless. They are best of friends. One day the smaller one’s eggs got stolen by poachers. Their adventure even takes them to land and even feature an outlandish made-for-fish out-of-sea bio-suit. All this while a horde of denizens of the deep plot to take over the abundant coral reefs.


Well, the graphics were next to flawless, they could have given it a little more shadow, I thought. The accents were a little disarrayed. Most accents were American, some more genuine than others, some were British, the grand old dame has a Malaysian Accent, and weirdly, one chicken has a German accent. What all these accents signify, I don’t know.


So where does this measure up against giants like Pixar’s Finding Nemo which obviously shares the same theme.  Against Pixar, See-Food would have been fileted from its bone and made into fish food. Pixar’s story telling is par excellence, while See-Food is not even worthy of day time television.


Its plot was so bad, there were times so excruciating I had to look away. Their intended comedy is flat. Their overly kid friendly plot is so unexciting and messy; it leaves me drawing parallels to a cheap Malay cartoon on TV. When the credits came up, it’s obvious that there is only one writer credited, or incriminated, whereas it should be a whole team of writers taking many many months to create that one masterpiece.


I hope they really do get better in animation. Nothing beats a good story, and they need to build this foundation first before tinkering with anything else. I give it 2/10.